welcome back.

I've been known to be a little loud
a little too sarcastic
a little too insensitive
and a little rough around the edges.

And I know that my attitude is a problem.
Mom I'm sorry I'll do better I promise.

And I've been known to be really good at overthinking
and really good at never feeling good enough.
Never feeling good enough for you
for her
for him
for me.

And so that's why I want to say thank you.
Thank you to Zoe for letting me speak whatever was on my mind.
For letting me cry through a computer screen
and for letting my heart bleed on these broken words.

Because I've learned that I am not as tough as I pretend.
As much as I hate to admit it I may even be sensitive.
And I think this class is to blame for making me soft.

And I realized that I am not Zoe.
And as much as I wish I could say I was Eva Peron
Atticus Monet,
Amaru,
or Courtney Rome.
Im not.
And I wont ever be.

Because I am sarcastic
and I say things I probably shouldn't.
And I am loud.
and a little too insensitive
and maybe a little rough around the edges.

Because I laugh the hardest at my own jokes
just to hear myself laugh.
Just to remind myself that I am happy.
And that there are still reasons to smile.
That there are still reasons to live.

So this is a goodbye to Zoe.
But this is hello to the real me.
A welcome back to the loud one.
The sarcastic one.
The not so tough one.

This is hello to McKelle.
McKelle Cahoon.