The Beginning..

I hope that my blog doesn't suck and that my words carry meaning,
And that somehow I can properly express whats going on in my head.

I hope that I am needed, wanted, liked and even hated. 
Because as shallow as it sounds I would rather be hated than ignored.
..at least I'm being noticed. 

You should know that I talk too loud and laugh too much, and I sing a lot 
for someone who can't sing. 

I don't like being alone even though sometimes I pretend that I do.
Because if I can pretend, maybe one day I'll be okay with it.
Maybe if I can pretend that it's okay to be alone
I won't feel as pathetic when I'm home lonely on a Friday night. 

I'm scared of being forgotten. 
I'm scared of being rejected..
scared that I'll never be good enough.
And I'm scared of being unlovable.
But mostly I'm scared of girls.

I'm excited for this class because I'm excited for a new start.  

I'm excited to be someone else for the next few months because the real me 
was starting to lose the realness.                                                            

So hopefully Zoe will be my new beginning and a restart to the wannabe.